Know Your Stars: Smashers Style
by Polska
Summary: That crazy announcer that we all love [or hate] from All That comes to diss the Smashers instead! What kind of chaos will ensue now? [Review!]
1. Chapta Uno

**Know Your Stars: Smashers Style**

**Polska – Yes, I have decided to rewrite it. I have a lot of time on my hands. It'll be the same, except for the better grammar ect. **

* * *

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…" the announcer began.

Camera shows Samus sitting on a chair.

"Samus…she is in love with Roy…" he continued.

Samus blinked once, before becoming angry at the unknown voice. "I don't love Roy. I _like _him as a friend," she replied.

"Samus…she just said she likes Roy…" the announcer answered.

"I didn't say that, God. I said I like him as a FRIEND. Of course, you wouldn't know that because don't have any. Don't you know any English?" Samus said, her temper rising.

"No."

"Lies…" Samus hissed.

"Samus…she doesn't have a tongue…" the announcer said calmly.

"How can I not have tongue? That's retarded. Why am I talking then, huh? Answer that Mister. Smarty-pants," Samus answered triumphantly.

"Samus…she uses her tongue to tell lies…" the announcer replied.

"Aha! You just admitted that I have a tongue!" Samus yelled out, clapping her hands together.

"Who said you didn't?"

"You did!"

"Samus…" the announcer continued. "She's a total girly-girl…"

"EW, you're gross! I hate girly-girl stuff! Are you mental? Where do you get your information?" Samus cried.

"I have my sources."

"Well your sources are _wrong_!"

"Now you know, Samus…the non-tongued girly-girl…" the announcer concluded gleefully.

"Argh! That doesn't deserve to be dignified with a response but I feel like responding anyways!" Samus shouted. "They know nothing of me! I do have a tongue or I won't be talking! Roy doesn't deserve to be loved! And don't you dare leave! You are a mental person who deserves to be locked up in a mental asylum!"

Camera fades out.

* * *

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…" the announcer started.

Camera shows Zelda sitting on a chair.

"Zelda…she secretly hates Link…" he continued.

"I don't hate Link, I _like _him!" Zelda replied haughtily.

"So you're in love with him then?"

"I didn't say that!"

"Zelda…she likes to stuff pasta down her dress every morning…" the announcer added.

"Kay, so, number one, that's sick," Zelda answered. "Number two, pasta is like…icky…it's like got…tomatoes." Zelda shuddered.

"Zelda…she has purple hair?" the announcer said as if Zelda hadn't said anything.

"I do not!" the Princess protested. "I have _blond _hair! Not purple! Blond!"

"What's blond?"

"_Idiot, God!_"

"Zelda, she's the Princess of Chickens…" the announcer continued.

"No way fah-reek! I'm the Princess of Hyrule! There's a big difference ya know! I don't even like chickens! They can't fly!" Zelda yelled, throwing her arms in the air.

"Now you know…Zelda," the announcer ended. "The purple-haired chicken ruler."

"Oh you crossed the line there buddy! I am totally not the Princess of Chickens!" Zelda yelled out angrily. "I like Link, not love him and I friggen hate pasta! You're just like retarded!"

The Princess then ran from the stage.

* * *

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…" the announcer said.

Camera shows Mario sitting on a chair. (**Polska – I shall not include accents…well you already know this so read on!**)

"Mario…he likes to do the chicken dance…" the announcer started.

"Who said? I like to dance…but I'm totally not fond of the chicken dance," Mario stated.

"Mario…he just admitted that he likes to do the chicken dance…" the announcer replied.

"I did not! Who said?" Mario protested.

"You did."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"DID NOT!"

"Mario…he's afraid of cougars…" the announcer continued.

"Well chy-ea, they're like, wild animals, y'know!" Mario replied loudly.

"Wimp."

"I am not!"

"Oh dude, you are so a wimp."

"I am not, you freak!"

"And now you know, Mario…" the announcer concluded. "The wimpy chicken dancer."

"Hey buddy, I am not a wimp! Kay? Who _isn't_ afraid of cougars? Dude, seriously, they're freaking wild animals!" Mario shouted. "God! I don't like the chicken dance! You are insane! In to the sane! God!"

* * *

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…" the announcer began.

Camera shows Bowser sitting on a chair.

"Bowser…he is the King of Mushrooms…" he continued.

"Uh no. I'm the King of Koopa's. Jeez, everyone knows that…" Bowser muttered, partially to himself.

"But you're a turtle!" Roy yelled from nowhere in particular.

There was a moment of awkward silence.

"Bowser…he has a secret crush on Peach…" the announcer continued after that silence.

"Um, no, I don't," Bowser answered.

"You sure 'bout that?"

"Absolutely."

"Liar."

"So not."

"So are."

"Loser."

"I'm not the one who has a crush on Peach."

"I DON'T!"

"Bowser, he likes to fill his shell with donuts every night…" the announcer said.

"I do not! I don't even like them!" Bowser wailed.

"How do I know you're not lying?"

"Because donuts are sticky…"

"Whatever you say."

"They are!"

"And now you know, Bowser…the donut-shelled mushroom ruler…" the announcer concluded.

"They know absolutely nothing! Filling a shell with donuts is weird! I am the King of Koopa's, not mushrooms! God! I don't like Peach! She's prissy. What is wrong with you?" Bowser cried and stomped off the stage, leaving a large hole in it.

* * *

**And next, as you all know, are Peach, Nana, Ganondorf and Linky-poo. :) I made a few changes, but not too many. 'Kthx for the reviews. ;)**


	2. Chapta Dwa

**I updated my story...you should be happy...**

**Announcer- Polska...she stuffs her bra with mac and cheese...**

**Polska- WHAT! DON'T LISTEN THIS FATASS HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT! Anyway R&R please!**

* * *

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars..." the announcer said. 

Camera shows Peach sitting on a chair.

"Peach...she's cheating on Mario..." he continued.

"What! I am not cheating on Mario! He's too cute", Peach replied.

"Peach...she likes to butter her crown every hour..." the announcer said.

"Now THAT is a total lie! That is ridiculous! God! Where do you get your information? Seriously!" Peach answered angrily.

"Somewhere you don't need to know".

"Well that 'somewhere' is wrong!"

"Peach...she likes it when Bowser kidnaps her..." the announcer continued.

"WHAT! I hate it! Its so stuffy and tacky in his castle. I mean does everything have to be so...evil?" Peach commented now deranged.

"But its pink and decorated with butterflies".

"NO ITS NOT!"

"Now you know, Peach...the Buttered Crown cheater..." the announcer finished.

"They do not! That's all lies! I don't butter my crown and I am not cheating on Mario! I hate it when Bowser kidnaps me and you are really crazy!" Peach called.

"Saynora Peachie...!" the announcer said.

"Wait! Don't go! I'm not finished! I don't butter my crown and I'm not cheating on Mario!" Peach yelled.

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"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars..." the announcer said.

Camera shows Link sitting on a chair.

"Link...he's the Zero of time..." the announcer started.

"Actually its the Hero of time not Zero", Link corrected.

"Link...he just said he's the Zero Hero of time..." the announcer continued.

"You lie! I said I'm the HERO of time! Not the Zero! Or the Zero Hero!" Link answered.

"So your a zero?"

"NO!"

"Link...he fills his hat with ketchup..." the announcer said.

"Ohmigod! I do not! I like ketchup with hotdogs or fries! Not in my hat!" Link cried.

"Hey Link...let's see your hat...I brought you a hot dog".

"AURGH!"

"Link...he wears a skirt and tights..." the announcer continued.

"Their called tunics!" Link said now outraged.

"Tunics, tights...they're the same...".

"They are not!"

"Link...he's afraid of turtles..." the announcer replied.

"Only the snapping turtles" Link answered.

"Link...he just said he's afraid of turtles..." the announcer said.

"I DID NOT!"

"Did too".

"DID NOT!"

"Wow you are a real wimp".

"Am not!"

"Now you know, Link...the Ketchup Wimp..." the announcer finished.

"Now listen! I do not fill my hat with ketchup and I am not a wimp! I think turtles are cute and I am the HERO of time! Not the Zero! Dammit! Can't you keep your facts straight? I am not a wimp! My hat is not full of ketchup!" Link yelled.

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"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars..." the announcer said.

Camera shows Ganondorf sitting on a chair.

"Ganondorf...he uses guacomole soap..." the announcer continued.

"Um, no...I don't use soap", Ganondorf said.

"Smelly".

"I am not smelly!"

"Ganondorf...he likes to eat pink chips..." the announcer said.

"Ew! That's nast..I eat potato chips...they're the color of potatoes..." Ganondorf said angrily.

"Ganondorf...he likes to bake pink cookies..." the announcer continued.

"I don't bake at all! My mom does!" Ganondorf said outraged.

"Momma's boy."

"I AM NOT A MOMMA'S BOY!"

"Now you know, Ganondorf...the Smelly Momma's Boy..." the announcer finished.

"Ok...I am not a Momma's boy, and I am not smelly! I don't eat pink chips and I don't use guacamole soap! God you are insane!" Ganondorf yelled and ran off the stage.

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"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars..." the announcer said.

Camera shows Nana sitting on a chair.

"Nana...she's married to Popo..." he started.

"Um actually he's my brother...I'm not married to anyone..." Nana replied.

"Nana...she uses her mallet to smash eggs..." the announcer said.

"I use my mallet to smash other SMASHERS! That's what I'm paid to do! Except I'm not paid..." Nana replied angrily.

"Murderer."

"I am not a murderer! It's in my job description!"

"Nana...she really likes Ness..." the announcer said.

"Dammit! Make up your mind! First you said I'm married to Popo now you say I like Ness!" Nana cried.

"Cheater."

"AURGH!"  
  
"Now you know, Nana...the Cheating Murderer..." the announcer finished.

"They don't know anything! All they know is that your crazy and insane and you like dissing other people! Your facts aren't true! I don't like Ness, and I'm not married to Popo! I am not a murderer, it's in my job description! Dammit! You are insane! You lie!" Nana cried.

"Bye Nana..." the announcer called as the camera faded.

"Don't go! I need to settle something with you!" Nana yelled.

* * *

**Hope you liked it. Review please. Anyway next chappie, Roy, Marth, Jigglypuff, and Daisy! Ciao!**


	3. Chapta Trois

**Polska- After a long time, I have finally updated! Yay!**

* * *

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars..." the announcer said.

Camera shows Marth sitting in a chair.

"Marth...he likes to sing Hilary Duff in the shower..." the announcer said.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? First of all, Hilary Duff is crappy and secondly, I do not sing in the shower!" Marth replied angrily.

"Marth...he enjoys watching porn..." the announcer commented.

"EW! I am NOT a PERVERT! Maybe you like to watch porn! That's why you're trying to frame me!" Marth yelled.

"Pervert".

"I AM NOT A PERVERT!"

"Marth...he is into boy bands..." the announcer continued.

"No, no, no. You have me mixed up with _Zelda._ I do not like boy bands. I am not a chick", Marth replied.

"You like Zelda".

"NO I DON'T! WHO SAID?!"

"You did."

"AURGH!"

"Now you know...Marth, the perverted chick", the announcer concluded.

"What!? All they know is that you are seriously in need of a mental institution! They know lies! I am not a pervert! Or a chick! I do not like Zelda! I hate boy bands!" Marth shouted.

* * *

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars..." the announcer said.

Camera shows Roy sitting on a chair.

"Roy...he likes to watch Peach, Samus and especially Zelda strip..." the announcer said.

"NOW THAT IS SICK AND WRONG! Zelda has a boyfriend! So does Peach! And Samus hates me! She would beat me up! You have a sick mind!" Roy shouted.

"I'mnot theone wholikes to watch girls strip".

"NEITHER DO I!"

"Roy...he just admitted that he likes to see girls strip..." the announcer continued.

"Are you deaf as well as a maniac?! I said I DON'T like to watch girls strip! Man, you have total issues!" Roy yelled.

"You are so mean." hears fake sniffing

"I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm sorry", Roy said apologetically.

Laughter Roy drops his jaw

"You little (Roy shakes fist)!You were faking the whole time!" Roy shouted.

"Roy...he is a gullible pig..." the announcer commented.

"OHMIGAWD! First of all, I am not a pig! AndI am not gullible! Your sniffing sounds real! Don't you dare tell them lies!" Roy yelled loudly.

"Now you know...Roy, the Horny pig..." the announcer concluded.

"DUDE! You are wayyyy crazy! They haven't got a clue about me! I am most definately not horny! And I am not a pig! Neither am I gullible! You only say this because you have no friends! Or a life! Hey! Don't you fade away from me! Hey!"

"Ciao Roy..."

"NO! Come back! I'll have the police on you! Get back here!" Roy called.

* * *

""Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars..." the announcer said.

Camera shows Daisy sitting on a chair.

"Daisy...she is a total lesbo because she is in love with Peach..." the announcer said.

"Yeah no. I have a boyfriend. His name is Luigi. Peach is so totally not my type. And she is my sister!" Daisy corrected.

"Daisy...she just said that she is in love with her sister..." the announcer commented.

"WHAT! I didn't say that! YOU did! I am not a lesbian!" Daisy shouted.

"I won't tell anybody".

"I AM NOT A LESBO!"

"Daisy...her nickname is Navy Soda..." he continued.

"Um maybe that's what they call YOU. No one calls me 'Navy Soda'...Luigi calls me honey-a" Daisy said loudly.

"Whatever you say...honey-a".

"DON'T MAKE FUN OF LUIGI'S WAY OF TALKING! THAT'S MEAN!" Daisy yelled.

"Daisy...she is covered in pimples..." the announcer continued.

"I am not! I have no acne anywhere!" Daisy called.

"Pimple-face".

"I am not a PIMPLE-FACE!"

"Now you know...Daisy, the Pimple-faced lesbo..." the announcer concluded.

"Okay you know what? I'm not even going to go along with this. I'm leaving. GOOD RIDDANCE!" Daisy cried and left the stage.

* * *

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars..." the announcer said.

Camera shows Jigglypuff sitting in a chair.

"Jigglypuff...she's fat and ugly..." the announcer said.

Jigglypuff took out her microphone and began to serenade the announcer.

"JIGGLY!" she said triumphantly.

She left the stage.

* * *

**Polska- Well that is a surprise ending...sorry I took so long to update! And I know that Daisy isn't an SSBM character but who really gives a dam?! So now that you've read, and hopefully you did, review please! I'll try to update the next chapter soon!**


	4. Chapta Quatro

**Polska- I kinda updated fast! YAY! So R&R please! And to that person who kept praying that it's a Link/Zelda romance well your in luck! I never do anything BUT Link/Zelda romances. I LOVE Link/Zelda romances! So dats all I'm going to tell you! R&R please!**

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"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars..." the announcer said.

Camera shows Luigi sitting on a chair.

"Luigi...he's really Mario in disguise..." the announcer continued.

"Uh no, I'm just plain old Luigi! It's-a me-a, Luigi!" Luigi corrected.

"Mmm hmm."

"It's true!"

"Luigi...he stole my watch..." the announcer commented.

"I did not!" Luigi called.

"Yes you did".

"NO I DIDN'T!"

"Then what's that in your pocket?"

Luigi pulls out a silver watch.

"HEY! You're trying to frame me!" Luigi yelled.

"Hey Luigi, the police are coming."

"No they're not."

Police sirens sound.

"Uh oh, I'm going!" Luigi yelled and ran off stage.

"Now you know, Luigi...the Disguised theif..." the announcer concluded.

Luigi ran back on stage.

"No they don't", he answered and ran off.

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"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars..." the announcer said.

Camera shows Ness sitting on a chair.

"Ness...he stole that baseball shirt..." the announcer continued.

"No I didn't! My mommy bought this shirt for me!" Ness cried, his eyes welling up with tears.

"Another momma's boy."

"I am not a mommy's boy!"

"Ness...he's a crybaby..." the announcer commented.

"No I am not! That's mean!" Ness cried tears splashing down his front.

Ness ran off the stage crying like a baby.

"Hey! Come back!" the announcer yelled.

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"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars..." the announcer said.

Camera shows Popo sitting on a chair.

"Popo...he has spagetti in his parka..." the announcer said.

"I DO NOT! I have spagetti on my plate!" Popo said frustrated.

"Spagetti boy."

"What the hell?"

"Popo...he just hurt my feelings..." the announcer continued.

"No I didn't. You're only saying that because you have no friends", Popo replied angrily.

"Popo...he just admitted that he has no friends..." the announcer commented.

"WHAT! No, I said that YOU have no friends!" Popo yelled.

"Sure you did".

"I DID!"

"Popo...he's too poor to afford pants..." the announcer said.

"I am not too poor to afford pants! I'm wearing pants you stupid announcer!" Popo corrected.

"Now you know, Popo...the Poor meanie..." the announcer concluded.

"WHAT LIES! That is not true! None of it is! Spagetti is enjoyed on my plate! And I am not a meanie! Only to you, you loser!" Popo yelled.

"Don't lie..."

"I am not lying! Don't you dare go! Hey! Come back here!"

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"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars..." the announcer said.

Camera shows Pikachu sitting on a chair.

"Pikachu...he doesn't understand english..." the announcer said.

"Pi pika pi pichu pi pika!" Pikachu replied angrily. _Translation: I understand it, I just don't speak it!_

"Pikachu...I have no idea what he just said..." the announcer said.

Pikachu walks off stage in a huff. Announcer sighs.

"Now you know-oh what's the use..."

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**Polska- Pokemon are so confusing! Well review please! Three more chappies left!!!!!**


	5. Chapta Cinco

**Polska- Muahahaha! After many months of ignoring this story, I've decided to update! Here is chapter six of "Know Your Stars: Smashers Style!" All right, as for D.K, let's just say that he can talk even though he can't. Okay? Good. Also, if anyone could tell me whom I missed to torture, please say so in your review, because I really have no idea who I missed. : D Thank you.**

* * *

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars..." the announcer said.

Camera shows Donkey Kong sitting on a chair.

"Donkey Kong…he's really an old hobo in disguise…" the announcer continued.

"No I'm not…I'm not a hobo. Hobos are old and smelly and I am certainly not a hobo!" Donkey Kong said stiffly.

"Donkey Kong…he likes to wear dresses in his spare time…" the announcer said, ignoring Donkey Kong's words.

"That was one time! And it was a dare!" D.K said, making an attempt to defend himself.

"Sure. That's what you want us to think."

"Aurgh!"

"Donkey Kong…he's a girl…" the announcer announced.

"That is preposterous! I am not a female! Are you insane?" D.K replied angrily, his voice rising gradually.

"Uh huh."

"I'm not!"

"Donkey Kong…he uses his big mouth to tell lies…"

Donkey Kong yelled and stood up, picking up the chair, and advancing towards the camera.

"What are you doing you overgrown ape?" the announcer himself was shocked.

Donkey Kong didn't answer and just tossed the chair at the camera. He stalked off, muttering angrily to himself about biscuits.

"Now you know…Donkey Kong. The female overgrown hobo ape with a bad temper…" the announcer said, as if nothing happened.

-

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars..." the announcer said.

Camera shows Pichu sitting on a chair.

"Pichu…he likes to eat dog biscuits in his free time…" the announcer began.

Pichu made a noise that sounded like a cross between an angry cat and a growling hamster.

"Pichu…his brain is the size of a peanut…" the announcer tried.

Pichu made the noise again. The announcer began to become really annoyed.

"Pichu…he's too stupid to understand a word that I'm saying…" he said.

Pichu shook his head and hopped off the chair, letting out the weird noise as he marched out of the room.

"Now you know…Pichu…the – ah forget it." The announcer sounded genuinely frustrated this time. "They don't pay me enough for this job," he muttered.

-

Camera shows Young Link sitting in a chair. But there was no signature "Know your stars…"

"Hello!" Young Link called as he twiddled his thumbs.

No answer.

"Anybody there!" he tried again.

Still no answer.

"Why am I here!" he called, sounding a bit irritated.

Surprise! No answer.

"If nobody's here, can I have a pickle?" Young Link called, greedily eyeing a jar of pickles across the room.

And…no answer.

"I'll take that as a yes," he said to himself and stood up off the chair until…

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…"

Young Link muttered angrily and sat back down.

"Young Link…his greatest ambition is too become a pickle…" the announcer started off.

Young Link looked surprised.

"Yeah! How did you know?" he replied happily.

The announcer was silent.

"Uh, Young Link…he secretly uses scented strawberry shampoo…" the announcer said smugly.

"So? Is there a problem with that?" Young Link answered, staring wildly around for the cause of the voice.

The announcer was silent once more. This was NOT turning out like he had planned.

"Young Link…he lives under a rock…" the announcer continued.

Young Link flushed.

"And what if I do?" he challenged.

The announcer was sincerely shocked. Young Link was the least bit fun to torment!

Young Link drummed his fingers on the arms of the chair. But it seemed like the announcer was gone.

"Well if you're gone, I'm gonna get my pickles and leave…" the miniature Link announced and hopped of the chair. He hurried towards the other side of the room, looked around, and selfishly snatched the jar of brightly colored pickles and ran out of the room.

"Now you know…Young Link…the insane weirdo…" the announcer finished awkwardly.

-

As Doctor Mario entered the building, the announcer was muttering to himself. The doctor took a seat on the black chair that stood in the empty room and immediately spotlights began shining on him, and the announcer stopped muttering.

"Know your stars, know yours stars, know your stars, know your stars…" the announcer said, sighing.

Camera shows Doctor Mario sitting on a chair.

"Doctor Mario…he cloned Mario…" the announcer began hopefully.

Doctor Mario immediately became outraged.

"Never! I am his half-brother!" the doctor exclaimed.

The announcer then got his spark back at the sound of the doctor's frustrated tone.

"Doctor Mario…" the announcer said confidently. "He picks his nose in public…"

Doctor Mario looked outraged.

"Absolutely NOT! I would never do anything like that! Why, that sounds positively inhuman!" the doctor rambled and continued to jabber on about improper manners and how only buffaloes (don't ask) are that despicable.

"That's what you want us to think."

"…only buffaloes pick their noses in public!"

"Doctor Mario…he's not really a doctor…" the announcer continued.

Doctor Mario was REALLY steamed.

"How dare you! I am indeed a doctor and one of the finest there is!" Doctor Mario boasted.

"Sure you are…"

"I am indeed!"

"Mmm hmm."

Doctor Mario growled and slumped down, crossing his arms over his chest.

"And now you know…Doctor Mario…the cloned doctor impersonator nose-picker…" the announcer concluded gleefully.

Doctor Mario looked livid.

"How dare you question my doctor-is-ness…I am complete one hundred percent doctor and certainly not an impersonator! Nor am I a nose-picker! I am not a buffalo…you…you…buffalo! I'll have you arrested! I am not a clone of Mario! I am his half-brother! And don't you dare call me ill-mannered! I have very good manners…you ill-mannered…creature, you!" the doctor continued on with his ramblings for a good forty-five minutes.

"Are you done yet?" the announcer was beginning to grow tiresome of Doctor Mario's endless talks.

"Never!" Doctor Mario yelled and cackled evilly before continuing on with his endless ramblings.

* * *

**Polska- **…

**I'm weird. Anyways, please review! And before any of you say that I copied another person's Know Your Stars: Smashers Style type thing, well you're wrong. That one that that one person is updating frequently is quite funny, and I actually published mine first, so don't you dare accuse me of such things. **

**Anyways, now that you've read…-shifty eyes-…please review!**


	6. Chapta Zes

**Know Your Stars: Smashers Style**

**Polska — Buahahahaha! This is the last chappie of the story! Thank you to all my _loyal _reviewers who reviewed the last chapter, and reviewed the other chapters, which have reviews, that I like to read because I like to read reviews, which are totally review-tastic because I like to read reviews! **

**:silence:**

**Whoot! I'm such a loser xD. Please review!**

**(By the way, I own no Smashers, no Announcer and…er, no…well, I don't own anything that has to do with Nintendo. I do kind of own the Cameraman though…and the Donut Boy who lives on Sprinkle Lane. XD)**

**And the Smashers being burned here are: Mewtwo, Captain Falcon, Fox, Falco, Mr. Game and Watch, and Kirby. 'K?)**

**Don't forget to review! _(Let's go for 65.)_**

**By the way, even though my new username is xxlovely-, I will still refer to myself as Polska, mm'kay? Mm'kay. **

* * *

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…"

Camera shows a black director's chair in the middle of a room, spotlights shining on no one in particular.

'Where's my next victim — I mean _guest_?' the announcer thought.

_Meanwhile…_

"I'll have eight cheeseburgers, five Big Mac's, six large fries, seven orders of chicken nuggets, three apple pies, two large Oreo McFlurries, and a extra-large coke," Falco said, pointing to the menu while ordering. "Better make it a diet coke though, I'm trying to watch my weight," he said to the cashier a bit more quietly, his eyes darting to the people around him. They did nothing but stare at him.

He was at the local McDonalds, completely forgetting that he was supposed to be at the local 'Know Your Smashers' studio.

"Here ya go!" the cheery cashier said as she handed him a tray. She adjusted her visor and looked at the bird, her wide-to-the-ears smile remaining on her face. She looked as if she'd been smiling like that for the past year. "That'll be thirty-seven eighty."

Falco dropped a couple of bills on the counter and peered at her nametag, which read 'Bob' in tiny white letters. "Thanks Bob," Falco said in a cheery voice to match "Bob's". "Bob" tried to frown but her face muscles wouldn't let her. Falco turned and marched to an empty table, when a large beep emitted from the pager on his belt, causing Falco to drop his tray, curse inwardly and yank the pager from his belt.

"'Meet at Smash Studio'," he read and narrowed his eyes, trying to remember why. Then he jumped and cursed again.

"SHIT!" he yelled and zoomed from the greasy fast food restaurant, ignoring the looks spectators were giving him.

_At the 'Smash Studio'_

The door to the studio suddenly burst open, letting in a huge wave of light. The cameraman dropped the camera and covered his eyes which his hands.

"THE LIGHT! IT BURNS!" he yelled dramatically, and unshielded his eyes once the door closed and Falco was sitting on the chair.

"Ahem… Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…" the announcer began, acting as though nothing had happened.

Camera shows Falco sitting neatly on the director's chair.

"Falco Lombardi…" the announcer continued. "He flies south for the winter…"

"No I don't actually. I mean, I did once, but that was just to see how it was, and I aint never doin' that again," Falco replied calmly.

"Er, Falco Lombardi…he wishes he were a cat…" the announcer continued awkwardly.

"Nope. Never have, never will," Falco told the announcer, shrugging.

"Sure you haven't…"

Falco shrugged. "Whatever you say."

"That's right little birdie. Whatever I say."

Falco shrugged.

"Falco Lombardi…he's secretly in love with Fox…" the announcer said smugly.

THAT made Falco mad.

"HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY SEXUALITY! I AM NOT GAY, I AM NOT A HOMOSEXUAL, I WILL NEVER BE A HOMOSEXUAL! YOU NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY PIG!" Falco yelled and stood up from the chair, and stalked off through the studio door, ignoring the "THE LIGHT! IT BURNS!" yells from the cameraman.

There were several minutes of silence.

"Now you know…Falco Lombardi, the homosexual wannabe cat…" the announcer finished, once again acting as though nothing happened.

•••

Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…"

Camera shows Mewtwo hovering seven inches above the chair.

"Mewtwo…he's too stupid to understand what I'm saying right now…" the announcer started, jumping to the conclusion that Mewtwo was like all other Pokemon.

"_And you're are too stupid to understand that I am not like other Pokemon."_

The announcer was shocked by Mewtwo's reaction. 'Hmm…he's not as dumb as I thought he was. Time to get nasty…' the announcer thought.

"Mewtwo…he secretly does the 'cha cha' when nobody is around…"

_"The announcer…he secretly does the tango when he's not making fun of simple-minded Smashers, unlike myself, because he has no life…"_

The announcer didn't reply for several seconds. "That is not true you idiotic Pokemon."

But Mewtwo just sat there, oblivious to the fact that the announcer was trying to make fun of him.

"Mewtwo…he's married to a hobo…" the announcer tried.

_"Poor, poor Andrew Billy Carter Dominique Edward Ferdinand Greg Hart Isaac Jordan Kyle Lionel Max Norbert Oliver Patrick Quinton Randy Steve Thomas Unger Victor Wyatt Xylophone Zion. This was the only job a man such as yourself could get, wasn't it. You would prefer to be selling women's clothing and perfume at Sears, don't you."_

The announcer was shocked that Mewtwo knew his real name. He tried to remain sane **(Whoot! I made a rhyme!)**. "Who is Andrew Billy Carter Dominique Edward Ferdinand Greg Hart Isaac Jordan Kyle Lionel Max Norbert Oliver Patrick Quinton Randy Steve Thomas Unger Victor Wyatt Xylophone Zion? That name is not familiar to me," he started.

_"Do not lie to me Andrew Billy Carter Dominique Edward Ferdinand Greg Hart Isaac Jordan Kyle Lionel Max Norbert Oliver Patrick Quinton Randy Steve Thomas Unger Victor Wyatt Xylophone Zion. We both know that this man is you."_

The announcer chose to ignore this. "Mewtwo…he's really a banana."

_"Don't try to ignore the fact that you are Andrew Billy Carter Dominique Edward Ferdinand Greg Hart Isaac Jordan Kyle Lionel Max Norbert Oliver Patrick Quinton Randy Steve Thomas Unger Victor Wyatt Xylophone Zion. You cannot lie to Mewtwo. As for the fruit, I am not a banana."_

The announcer choked. "N-Now you know…Mewtwo, the Pokemon that has reawakened my conscience."

There was a few moments of silence, and Andrew Billy Carter Dominique Edward Ferdinand Greg Hart Isaac Jordan Kyle Lionel Max Norbert Oliver Patrick Quinton Randy Steve Thomas Unger Victor Wyatt Xylophone Zion burst out laughing.

"Man, I can't even hold that up for two seconds!" he said, still laughing. But not too long afterwards, Andrew Billy Carter Dominique Edward Ferdinand Greg Hart Isaac Jordan Kyle Lionel Max Norbert Oliver Patrick Quinton Randy Steve Thomas Unger Victor Wyatt Xylophone Zion began bawling. Mewtwo smirked and hovered out of the studio, ignoring the "THE LIGHT! IT BURNS!" yells from the cameraman.

•••

The announcer choked and then announced, "Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…"

Camera shows Mr. Game and Watch sitting on a chair.

"Mr. Game and Watch…" the announcer began, trying to remain strong, "when he's alone, he dresses up in old woman's clothing from the nineteen thirties…"

Mr. Game and Watch let out a long ominous beep, and shook his 2D fist in the air.

"Mr. Game and Watch…he wishes that his skin was made of jell-o…" the announcer announced.

There was silence.

Then there was whispering and the announcer cleared his throat.

"Mr. Game and Watch doesn't have any skin!" Roy yelled from nowhere in particular.

"I knew that you stupid redhead!" the announcer barked. "I was just testing."

"_Sure_ you were…" Roy said, smirking.

"Mr. Game and Watch…" the announcer continued, completely ignoring Roy. "He likes to do the disco."

And, all of a sudden, there was a flash of light and the floor Mr. Game and Watch and the cameraman were standing on became a dance floor, and the two were standing there wearing large black afros, shiny white bellbottom pants, flared-sleeved shiny turquoise shirts buttoned to only the chest, and high white platform shoes.

Around Mr. Game and Watch were women and men wearing similar outfits, and large disco ball suspended from the ceiling, shining spotlights on the crowd. (**If you've ever seen that episode of Family Guy where there's that little flashback or whatever and you see Peter, Lois, Quagmire, Cleveland and everyone else doing the disco, this is a similar scene.**)

"Disco!" everyone chanted as they danced around the disco ball and the spotlights, as seventies' disco music played in the background.

"Oh Lord," the announcer murmured.

There was another flash of light, and the two were back in regular clothes.

Mr. Game and Watch let out a long ominous beep, hopped off the black directors' chair, and flew out of the building, his 2D fist stuck out in front of him as if he were a superhero.

"Now you know, Mr. Game and Watch…" the announcer concluded.

There was another flash of light and the seventies' disco crowd was back, this time dancing around the cameraman, who stood in the centre of the crowd, completely confused.

•••

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…" the announcer chanted monotonously.

Camera shows Captain Falcon sitting on a chair.

"Captain Falcon…" the announcer stared. "He—"

"Excuse me," Captain Falcon interrupted. "Where's my money? I only came to this thing 'cause someone said I was gonna be paid."

There were snickers coming from the back after he said this. Falcon whirled around and glared at the laughing Roy.

"OH 3M G33! 1 LYK C4N7 B3L31V3 U F3L 4 747!11111" Roy said laughing.

There was a blank pause as the cameraman and Falcon exchanged odd looks.

"What?"

Roy's Translator: He said "OMG! I like can't believe you fell for that, exclamation times six, one, one, one, one, one. "

"Oh."

"Ahem."

"Oh, sorry."

"Captain Falcon…he wears frilly pink dresses in his spare time…" the announcer continued.

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"NO!"

"Yes."

"NO!"

"Yes."

"LYK N00000 W411111!11111"

There was another silent pause.

Falcon's Translator: -sigh- he said, like no way, exclamation times ten, one, one, one, one, one.

"Oh, right. Captain Falcon…" the announcer said. "He got plastic surgery."

There was a cough from Captain Falcon.

"Oh my God, you did?" the announcer asked, shocked. "I was just making that up! Wow, what are the odds? One of my burns is actually real!"

Captain Falcon stood up and stomped out of the studio, muttering about Michael Jackson under his breath.

"Righti-o…" the announcer concluded. "Now you know, Captain Falcon. The Pink Dressed Plastic Nose Wearer…"

There was a moment of awkward silence, followed by a random cough from the cameraman.

•••

"Knowyourstarsknowyourstarsknowyourstarsknowyourstars…" the announcer said hurriedly.

"What?" came several loud voices.

"Never mind."

Camera shows Fox sitting in a chair.

"Fox McCloud…" The announcer continued, "he made out with a hotdog…"

Fox gasped, outraged. "Like no **censored **way! I so did not **censored** do that! Stop telling **censored** lies!"

"Ah, the wonders of cable television. Censoring. Ha, what will they come up with next?" The announcer muttered under his breath. "Anywayssssss, Fox McCloud…he chews on Kleenex for a bedtime snack…"

Fox cleared his throat. "Actually, that is completely false. I like to chew on gummy worms for a bedtime snack, but not Kleenex. Have you ever tasted Kleenex? It tastes like cardboard."

"And how would you know how cardboard tastes? Not to mention Kleenex."

"I have sources."

"Yeah, just like my mother is Bigfoot…"

"…"

"Uh, that was a joke…"

"Oh."

"Yeah…"

"…"

"Fox McCloud…" the announcer said, "he has a shrine dedicated to Samus in his closet."

Fox gasped. "Don't you dare mix me up with Falcon! That perverted bastard has a shrine dedicated to Samus, Peach AND Zelda."

Falcon popped onto the screen. "Don't believe him! I may have perverted thoughts about them, and I may dream of foursomes but I do NOT have shrines dedicated to them!"

Three gigantic wooden hammers appeared out of nowhere. The first one had **ZELDA **written on the top in **bold**, CAPITALIZEDand underlined script. The second one had **_PEACH _**written on the top in **bold**, CAPITALIZEDand _italicized _script. And the third one had **_U PURVURTD N00B!1111 _**written on it in **bold**, _italicized_, CAPITALIZED and underlined script. Then, with a loud bang, they banged Falcon on the head all at once.

"Ahem…now you know, Fox, the Obsessed Kleenex Chewer…" the announcer concluded.

"Nuh uh! Oh no you didn't!" Fox called in his most flamboyant, stereotypical gay man voice. "That is like so not true! Stop making up lies!"

"Yeah, sure buddy. Well, you like, gotta go now…" the announcer said before the screen faded.

More television wonders, hey?

•••

Kirby was sitting at home, watching that really funky Pepsi commercial with Jimmy Fallon and the really funky techno music (**Newton – Streamline, download it now. Such a FUNKY song**) when suddenly he was whisked away by a shining, golden warp star.

THE WARP STAR OF LOVE!

It whisked him into the Smashers Studio and dropped him ungracefully onto the black directors chair. Clearly upset, Kirby flipped himself upright and glared into the camera in front of him.

(-insert Kirby taunt here-)

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…" the announcer said sounding terribly bored. Oh dear.

Kirby taunted again.

"Kirby…he's a fat pink puffball…" the announcer began.

There was complete and utter silence.

"WAY TO POINT OUT THE OBVIOUS!" Roy shouted from nowhere in particular. He was then banged on the head by an oversized wooden hammer.

"Er…Kirby, he works at the too-happy-go-lucky-it's-a-small-world-castle in Disneyland…as an African robot…**(I went to Disneyland for spring break and that castle is freakin' scary…)**" the announcer said.

Suddenly a herd of it's-a-small-world robots came chanting into the room, all holding hands and singing the song. Roy jumped out from nowhere in particular and began singing with them. They sang for thirteen million bajillion hours until an **UNDERPAID ACTOR IN AN OVERSIZED MICKEY MOUSE COSTUME **came in and plucked them out of the room one by one…

Once again, the announcer showed no clue that he had noticed.

"Kirby…" he began again. "He wants to marry Peach."

"NUH UH!" Kirby shouted angrily, momentarily forgetting his cutesy act. "That bimbo is so stupid, it's a wonder that Mario even saves her! Forget that, it's a wonder that Bowser even kidnaps her! How can he stand her whining and annoying-ness?"

"MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY!" Roy shouted from nowhere in particular. Unfortunately, it's-a-small-world music also came from nowhere in particular. The **UNDERPAID ACTOR IN AN OVERSIZED MICKEY MOUSE COSTUME **plucked Roy into oblivion from nowhere in particular.

Confused, Kirby regained his cutesy act, gave one last

(-insert Kirby taunt here-)

to the camera and left the room.

"Uh huh…and now you know Kirby, the Pink African Happy-Go-Lucky Robot Peach Lover…" the announcer concluded…

But unfortunately, just as he did so, the entire horde of Smashers zoomed into the studio with their

WARP STARS OF LOVE!

and filled every nook and corner of the oversized room.

"THAT GUY IS A BIG FAT LIAR!" Samus shouted.

"YEAH!" The rest of the Smashers cheered.

"THAT GUY HAS NO LIFE!" Link shouted.

"YEAH!" The rest of the Smashers cheered.

"THAT GUY IS EVEN MORE PERVERTED THAN FALCON!" Marth shouted.

"YE- wait, is that possible?" The Smashers all said at once.

"YES!" Marth yelled again.

"YEAH!" The rest of the Smashers cheered.

"HE GOT AN **UNDERPAID ACTOR IN AN OVERSIZED MICKEY MOUSE COSTUME** TO PLUCK ME INTO OBLIVION!" Roy shouted.

"IF YOU GOT PLUCKED INTO OBLIVION, WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?" A Smasher shouted from the crowd.

"I DON'T KNOW, BUT I KNOW THAT GUY'S A LIAR!" Roy shouted back.

"YEAH!" The rest of the Smashers cheered.

"LET'S GO KICK SOME ANNOUNCER BUTT!" Link shouted.

"YEAH!" The rest of the Smashers cheered.

And the hunt was on.

* * *

**Polska – Oh yeah, cliffhanger, am I right? Hmm?**

'**Kay, so I don't own Disneyland, but I felt the need to put the Small World thing in. By the way, I lied. This is the SECOND last chapter. The next chapter will be up hopefully soon. Mm'kay? Mm'kay. **

**Kay, so now REVIEW! You've read, hopefully, so now REVIEW! This is the funniest chapter of them all, I think, so pleeeeeaaaaaaasssssssseeeeee be nice and review! BYEE!**


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